A letter from Mar 22, 2024

I’m literally crying right now, Normally it’s me trying to jinx it like a fool but I’m depressed, I feel like I’m letting everyone down, people at school are trying to reassure me but They all know man, everyone knows, I’m an idiot, what is wrong with me, 6 in speaking bro, that’s the one you can literally prepare for, it was my last practice for it, can you believe it because I cannot, Abdullahi is saying don’t worry when he knows man, I’m literally a clown, I don’t even know how I’m wasting all this time, I need to analyse my ways brother like I feel tired every morning then wake up late so even my parents, they are disappointed in me, This is probably the lowest point of my life, Everyone can feel it, I feel uncomfortable with my life, i feel like a failure, other people say it to me as a joke bc they think im joking or bc of my parents, NO this isn’t even going to anyone, just my future self, just me, I don’t feel like speaking to anyone now, I just want to die, I mean it, I always say it but I mean it, everyone else thinks im lying but im the biggest disappointment known to mankind. As I’m typing this, I’m crying… Idk what to do, I feel like I’d do everyone a favour by dying bro, it s Ramadan but I’m using that as an excuse? THE whole point is to be god conscious, I can’t be using it as an excuse. Mr Ali shouted at us the other day because we re off schedule by a mile, and we have 20 past papers that we haven’t done in which last year this time, people would have finished…. Then straight after mr hafesji tells us that he checked the spreadsheet and this set of results is worrying …he told us at the start of the year that he thinks this year it will be good but now he s not so sure.., even hayyan man, he thinks it s going to be the worst year for results ever man, I’m so scared , im so sad, I’m so demoralised, idk if I can do it man, My whole “mission” was to go to Brampton, but now what bro, I haven’t went to any interviews, not even to Norlington and I’m literally an internal student, this is all idiocy… The amount of shame I feel even within my parent s presence is insane , they re the ones who should be proud, them and Allah, How is this happening, HOW? I know for a fact behind closed doors, idk who, but they’re laughing at me, Labarbe was literally mocking me in form so imagine what she doesn’t says publicly, imagine what people say about me behind closed doors, this is all my fault, ALL of it, I’m afriad, genuinely, idk what to do, I really don’t, 2We haven’t even gone through any content for ad maths….I have failed everyone.I can’t get into Brampton.