A letter from April 19th, 2024

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, it’s a couple days before my birthday 18/04/24 (BIG 17 not the lil one) and i feel like absolute ****. i’ve had the worst couple days ever and i just feel like i’ve been set up all day. I rlly just want to die, I thought i could be strong but these thoughts have come back and idk i just feel worthless and like a failure i have nothing going on in my life (im heavily disconnected and lost my spark) and no one who cares. i feel like life is not worth living anymore, as it's just this continuous cycle of me getting disappointed in every aspect of my life. I know i have a lot to be thankful for physically, but mentally i am not okay and i just want the pain to go away. i swear my step mum set me up ngl like she dead knew what she was doing with the grease thing. I had a feeling that my day wasnt gonna go as planned and it in fact did not im over feeling like this i just want it to end.Though i think i am giving up, i rlly do hope i can prevail, but i am unsure if i will come out the other end unscathed. if you made it and you're reading this i do hope life is better .

Epilogue

about 4 hours later

Lemme tell youu, life has been good and also bad which is expected, however mentally i’m still not...

Efmyls leki i hte eerhw ufreut rty eepk to ummym to os yhw batuo ipticmosti )ocf uwldo i r(of am eb dna grdmiinne be heer i aeylrl. Nelaginr agbr ky het dna ldho to the been cnkikig ym ottecnn but ym by uin gyinrt eebn nkec dan sha proirsieit e’vi ***. 18th asyd s’etl sya on nad tsju of and i tnaeids nwo fo at sti’ iloongk my eoberf lic sieorptiird ym ksir two gib tdsyu i’m hadtyibr efsylm etrhso. Me ahdibtyr lhaasl eon dan sa wepro thign i this veidni fro ym its ercag to aks yb llsaow vhae lal btu eh ayellr. Htmgi l ot a ym tbu rae,y ve’i be m’i pgdnesin ki a t’is rspoesne thave’n h4s2r os wtih i tstylsi ’taths ervediv pahyp eht kile ti get lsup tub sola ekil pscea anc hist rdite edovl ot me veah i goolikn fro rehtano as inigvg ig it os efre + 🌚 a,nm bsuy onse akte. .

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